The Sunrise is Always Glowing
by CrAyOnS tAstE LIkE pUrple
Summary: How long can one solitary person stay continuously cheerful anyway? He dared someone to try and break his record...R&R Yugi centered


  
Disclaimer: I do not own YuGiOh  
  
One of my favourite things to say:  
  
The fairy who was not old, not young, who was red roses, white snowfall, who was  
blind and saw everything, who sent stories resounding through the universe said,  
You must reach inside yourselves where I live like a story, not old, not young,  
laughing at my own sorrow, weeping pearls at weddings, wielding a torch to melt sand into something clear and bright.  
~ The Rose and the Beast, fairy tales retold by Francesca Lia Block  
  
  
Yugi's eye twitched slightly at the never fucking ending blast his former companions were having down stairs.  
  
Yes, sleep was much more substantial than trying to hang out with his buddies' anyway.  
  
He was done.  
  
Done making an effort for them.  
  
How long can one solitary person stay continuously cheerful anyway?  
He dared someone to try and break his record.  
40 weeks, 280 days, 10 months, however you wanna say it.  
  
He needed a smoke.  
He sighed and got up from the moderately comfertable bed. Blinking his heavy lidded amethyst eyes, he stretched and looked at the frost bitten window.  
The boy grabbed his leather jacket off the chair to his desk, which in all convenience concealed his cigarettes and lighter. It was just slow suicide, thats how he liked to think of his addiction, it sound so much more glamorous.  
  
He grinned cheekily to himself, then frowned.  
He hated himself, he hated them for making him hate himself, he hated himself even more for hating himself, kind of an oxymoron, ne? No, he hated himself for sinking to one of those depressed qsycos' that was wallowing in hate. See? He  
was going out of his mind!  
  
At that thought he grinned again, well if your funkin' crazy then why not live it up? Normal people loose out on the fun anyways.  
  
  
So, off Yugi went, run Yugi run!  
  
He padded down the stairs quickly and in a would be almost silent way.  
But of course the little noise Yugi managed to make was immediately drowned out by the loud noises Jou and Honda were making.  
The door clicked open smoothly, but made a slight squeak went it reached the angle of 45º.   
  
He gingerly sat down on the cold, snowy, stair well of his house.  
  
He reached into his pocket, where he felt around for the pack and his zippo, finally freeing one of the fags, her put the end between his lips, cupped the flame to it, and inhaled.  
  
Someone told him once that he thought smoking was like a reaction to the cold, like building a fire. That's how he started, always feeling cold, he craved heat.   
  
Body heat was the best, but he would have to settle for the warm iciness that the smoke supplied.  
  
Sometimes, he'd be walking down the street, and pass a person with eye's like his own, sad eyes, hollow eyes, another person that craved heat.  
  
Men and woman alike.  
  
They'd go somewhere, he couldn't always remember. They would make the sheets hot, it felt like melted wax against his skin.   
  
Heat.  
  
After, he would get up, put his clothes on, and leave.   
Still feeling the lingering of the persons essence clinging to his skin.  
  
Smoke, it was more like... a dull throb of heat inside, okay, it was like that rubbing oil, it burned with a harsh iciness, that was what it was like.  
  
He tried to make pictures in the smoke with his fingers, it just curled around them and still move up. Like sticking a fence in the river.   
  
Winter made everything beautiful, but, it also made everything distant. Colder, like a movie star everyone fawns over, and yet they no they will never have, so they eat them through pictures and interviews.  
  
As all the twisted thoughts swirl inside his head, He notice that he's not even half done the cigarette, he grins again, in some way to know that when everybody comes out of the house the little innocent Yugi will be sitting on the steps, smoking.   
  
Whatever.   
  
It was about ten o'clock when he came out, and he didn't know  
how long that his musings have been going on, but even if they were long or short he was guessing they would be out here any time now.  
  
But, he didn't want to be interupted, nope.   
  
He didn't want to even trie and be cheery anymore, to  
much work in fueling fake emotions.  
  
He got up to leave, walk around the dark streets, just him and his little less that half cigarette.  
  
the ending of the sentence revealed, as the door swung open to bestow the inside, to the outside world.  
  
Ryou, he looked like the embodiement of winter, silver hair white skin. Just looking at Ryou made Yugi's stomach turn in hate.   
No, not for Ryou.   
Raw hate for himself.   
What gave him the right to be depressed, when Ryou went through so much more than him?   
His father, never there, always moving, being posest by his Yami,  
then beaten by the said-man.   
But never being as weak as Yugi himself, well...maybe he did hold a little resentment towards the would be albino.  
  
Honda, he was always the tag along. Even when he was perky, he still had to admit that.   
Yugi guessed that when he became friends with them, that Honda and  
Jounouchi started to drift apart.   
He and Jou stated that they were best friends on a number of occasions, and sometimes he regreted it.   
Poor Honda, he took Jou away from him, even for a short while. Did the brown haired boy ever feel the  
confilt Yugi was feeling right now?  
  
Jou, the lovable blond hair wonder pup. Feeling the hate bubble up inside him, but this time it was directed at them.   
Betrayal.  
Over welming hate clouded his vision for a moment.   
Why did everything about him hate so funking much?!?  
Well it easy to forget you best friend, when you lived in a cave in your own head.   
He regained his composure.   
  
Inside.  
  
They forget you so easily Yugi, you would do well to remember that...'   
Wow.  
He had a split personality giving him advice.   
Nice.  
Maybe he you ask it to be friends sometime.  
  
Anzu, it was so hilarious! Always spuing garbage about friendship every other hour, abandoned him.   
Or... maybe they were never his friends, it was just and  
illusion his mind created out of his own loneliness.   
  
Thats what your mind does you know... it tries to protect you anyway it can, and if that means making you  
insane, then so be it.  
Well, she really did prove to be a hypocrite.  
  
Yami, the last of the little group.   
He was Yugi's better, his replacement.   
  
The darker half was... the Yugi that should have been, the Yugi that was supposed to be here instead.   
But, now their was him, and then Yami, so naturaly, his friends  
took to the spirt.   
Thinking of this, he sqashed his hate for his former  
friends--- did they still conciter him a friend?--- it just became a dull throb at the bottem of his shoe, waiting to be relieased.  
  
They looked at him, his couldn't place the looks they were giving out.  
  
He took a long drag, and pulled his cancer stick away from his parched lips, held in the smoke, until it became painful, then gentally blew it out.  
  
Oh goodness hear it comes.  
  
Yugi?! What the heck?! Why are-- what are-- Why are ya SMOKING?!? came the brooklandish accent of Jounouchi.   
  
This is problibly going to be the longest he'd talk to them sence, before this started.  
  
He looked sideways, and grinned lopsidedly at their open mouths. But not desiding to give them the answer to that just yet.   
He took another quick puff and turned around to walk away.  
  
Call it self suicide, Jounouchi, it sounds better. Came the rather amused reply of Yugi.   
  
No, he wasn't trying to be like this, making his friends  
think he's cool just to hang out with him again.   
He wasn't into posing, he just liked to smoke and have sex with random people.  
  
Well, I'm off, I'll probibly see you tomorrow Yami. Yugi called over his sholder. He would probibly go to a coffee house and get something to drink, coffee was also good in the cold.  
  
Where are you going?! It's almost eleven o'clock! What's gotten into you? His darkness shouted at his back. Why is it people always answer questions backwards?  
  
Hmmm.  
  
I know it's almost eleven. Nothing's gotten into me... although, maybe I am under the influence of the Devil... Huh... well I'll have to think on that...  
  
Just as he was about to bite back another reply, he noticed a petite girl with dyed green hair and sad eyes walking over to him.   
  
Hitomi, that was her name.   
  
He liked her.   
She had a pierced eyebrow and liked sushi.   
  
Now a days piercings ment self hate and mutilation.   
So being the person he was, he went out and got a tonuge and belly ring.  
  
Yugi, she adressed him softly, Can... can you come home with me for a bit? You make me feel better, please? She asked him so gentaly, almost caressing him with her tenderness.   
She was probibly his best friend right now.  
  
Of corse, Hitomi-chan. she blushed at the name.  
  
  
  
  
Well, what do you think of the first chapter? Love it? Hate it? Made you cry? Made you sick? Well, whatever it made you, please review! 


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